I want to share my story. I want to journal my journey, to not only give me a place to document what is happening to me and it’s affects, but I want others, similar to me, to read this and know they’re not alone. Like you…
The summer has come off furlough and returned back to work today. Who knows for how long? It'll probably go back into to lock down now I have said this. So, I bring my journal, my sunglasses and my very weak excuse for a glass of wine and sit outside in the garden....
By 4am, I had eaten all my biscuits in my little plastic tub and was on my second brew. I caught up with personal/work emails as I sat listening to my husband snore and my stomach ask for more food. Steroids are clearly still taking their toll. I am not taking any...
Despite it's best efforts to destroy me, I have had a reasonable few days. Weirdly yesterday was better than today. Getting back to counselling is definitely a tonic for me. I look forward to working with my clients today. I sometimes can't reach for my responses as...
The drugs didn't work last night. Hell no. I was up at 02:30 am feeling mmmmmmhhhhh. I tucked into the digestives which helped. I was hot. My head felt wet but it wasn't. My tiny bristles are flaking off - I rubbed my head and they flaked off onto my cheeks. Horrible...
Just quickly before I start today's reflections.... this will make you laugh. I left my husband and youngest watching some crazy Marvel film thingy last night and took myself off to bed. I have a little routine - face cream, eye cream,hand cream, ear plugs in, phone...
......I was sat having a meal on the beach in Gran Canaria with my family. Unbeknown to me I'd have had breast cancer then. That makes me sit somewhere on the feelings scale between anger and sadness. How fast has that year gone? Do you ever think like that when...
It's day three. I'm up feeling wonderful. I'm beginning to think they have pumped me full of Chrystal Meth rather than chemotherapy. I am bouncing around the place full of health, vitality and energy. Too. Good. To. Be. True. In fine spirits I find myself in my eldest...
Top of the morning to ya! No nausea last night. I was waiting on it believe me, but 21:30 came and went and still it did not appear. A little odd feeling prickled me a little but nothing at all that I couldn't cope with. I nodded off about 22:30 - awake at 00:30, off...
I'm saying this over and over again. I have already been told I'm likely to respond the same this time but I am compelled to micro-manage and orchestrate my thinking. Control is typically a reaction to the fear of losing control. I've already established I need to be...