I want to share my story. I want to journal my journey, to not only give me a place to document what is happening to me and it’s affects, but I want others, similar to me, to read this and know they’re not alone. Like you…
10 am this time. My chemo friend is 10.30 am so I'm looking forward to speaking to her as we both sit in the unit having poison pumped into us. She really has made my chemo experience more palatable. I'll always be grateful to her for this. The journey to chemo is...
Now I think I have not felt as good this time round with the chemo. Others disagree. You decide when reading this. But I don't. I think my emotional well being has contributed badly to my physical well being. I haven't felt much more in the way of nausea and pain -...
My husband, youngest daughter and I were watching TV tonight. I've always been honest with her (she's 13) about how I'm feeling. There have been some diluted responses just to prevent her from worrying but I do promote honesty and I want her to be able to feel she can...
A different Oncologist phoned me Thursday. A lady. I was slightly disappointed it wasn't the usual Doctor. It's important to me to build up trusting relationships with my health professionals. I don't like the fact it's a phone call appointment anyway. I's much prefer...
I didn't write yesterday as I had another dip and fought sickness, low mood and martyrdom all day. Work brought much needed periods of relief. But without that I just sank. By evening time the bleakness and utter contempt I had for my cancer diagnosis really did rock...
Can I talk about about what to do with anger? The theme continues for me..... when I am feeling low or vulnerable I tend to subconsciously reach to anger. It drives my thinking and almost possess me and my cognitive ability to exist. I create conversations in my head...
I am now sat in my garden drinking Palma Violet gin, and wearing one of those snuggle blanket dresses my youngest daughter gave to me as I headed into cancer land a few weeks ago. I've put my hood up because my head is cold. I have just seen my gorgeous cat walk...
And the weekend turns out to be quite good in terms of human connectivity and normality. We went to my Welsh best friend's house for dinner on Saturday night and on Sunday my husband's parents came over for food - which was the first time we have seen them since lock...
There are two parts to post-chemo treatment. The part you are on your arse at 20:30 pm and crawling on your hands and knees to bed - begging for sleep to immerse you in it's silence and pain-free space. Then there's this part. It's 00:19 am and I am wide awake. Now...