I want to share my story. I want to journal my journey, to not only give me a place to document what is happening to me and it’s affects, but I want others, similar to me, to read this and know they’re not alone. Like you…
Early morning followed an early night. Checked body for signs and clues to how I was feeling about approaching today. Yeah OK. Nor great. But OK. I can do this I tell myself - yes it is uncertain (you would think I'd be used to that by now), but yes I have come this...
The new term at college has landed, and I am mixed up about the way this makes me feel. Life isn't normal for anyone right now, and college's and school's are developing their new normal's. But getting cancer on top of a life of uncertainty kind of throws a whole load...
You may be coming familiar with the excitement I feel when it is the last weekend before chemo. This is the weekend I am close to me and close to feeling like I can enjoy what makes me happy in life. I have hope on these few days, as I know I am going to feel Ok and I...
I am not lying to you. After four cycles of AC chemotherapy (it takes its name from the initials of these drugs: doxorubicin (also known as Adriamycin) cyclophosphamide), that's almost 12 weeks of treatment my 4cm grade 3 tumour has gathered it's belongings and has...
Slowly coming back to life. Week 3 of the cycle is by far the best for me. I feel I am over the worse, with some energy levels back - you get this then the confidence levels grow. You feel effective and worthwhile and know when you wake up each morning there is a high...
Took a phone call from an Oncologist Nurse. They are trialing a new scheme to check in with patients and carry out assessments of 'the story so far'. There is a 'story so far', and she has phoned me to listen to mine. So she gets it. A succinct version of the last...
Rough as today. Really dipped down and feeling unwell. A week on too? I was doing so well then today - WOW. I am sore, sickly, hot, cold, fed up, tired. Is the accumulative factor? Four in and now it starts to settle and hurt? I hate that word - accumulative. It...
I'd like a day where I don't think about chemo and it's work. What would I think about? It feels like it has always been in my life when actually it hasn't. I am only 13 weeks into this chapter of my life but it seems like 13 years. I am left thinking about those who...
I swear I did not sleep one full hour last night. It took three hours to actually fall asleep. Meditation and Zopiclone didn't touch me. I read and finished my book, willing my body to close itself off and rest. I hate nights like these. You watch the clock and it...