I want to share my story. I want to journal my journey, to not only give me a place to document what is happening to me and it’s affects, but I want others, similar to me, to read this and know they’re not alone. Like you…
I have had to have a word with myself today. Yesterday was spent falling into low desperate moments of sheer depression. Dark black spaces of despairs. I've felt this inner dialogue with my chemo right from the beginning of this hell. For 6 cycles I led the way. If...
Today I can officially say 'I FINISH CHEMO NEXT MONTH'!!! Today I can officially say I have had enough and I want my life back. No. I really do. I'm sad writing this, and this is how I feel after a reasonably good day. Got a lot of work done and the day was topped off...
I went to a Homeopath yesterday too. There's a South Wales organization called 'The Old Mill' who offer free professional treatments to people living with or living on from cancer. All the girls I have encountered have been kind, warm and understanding. I had a two...
Like I smell. It's 00:21 am and I can't sleep. I am feeling 'rank'. I have stomach ache and the gripes and my insides are refusing to rest. Every 10 minutes I get up - a sickly pain in my abdomen - like I need the toilet. It is absolutely shite. Zopliclone ain't...
I would love to go on Gogglebox. To have the cameras pointing at me in my lounge, sat in my PJ's with a glass of win chatting shit about the current TV I was watching would make me smile! I would probably lose my credibility as a therapist but I still wish I could...
It's 19:28 pm, I am in bed, reflecting on this question. Let me tell you why. My dear Welsh to English friend came today to see me. She also brought her husband as well as her company! Her county goes into local lock-down tomorrow so her visit is tinged with sadness...
My handsome Son turned 16 today. All 6" 1' of him. His hair has darkened over the last few years framing his deep blue eyes and his beautiful face. He as the most amazing bow shaped lips. People would pay fortunes to have these shapely lips. He does not get them from...
I saw more clients today than I have done for a while. It's the day before chemo - the day I am traditionally safe to push myself and work a little harder - this is the day I usually feel good and can mange being busy and productive. Got that wrong. I have not fully...
It is weekend#3. The time of the cycle where I can feel more myself and play 'let's pretend' I am not having chemo on Wednesday. I love these few days - see previous posts - and although we have nothing major happening - the thought of spending a few days with my...