I want to share my story. I want to journal my journey, to not only give me a place to document what is happening to me and it’s affects, but I want others, similar to me, to read this and know they’re not alone. Like you…
I am feeling so unwell. Terrible. I cannot find the words to tell you how I am feeling. My head weighs more than my car. My bones feel long - I can feel everyone of them trying to snap. My hips don't work. My lips are sticky and I'm growing a cold sore fit for a king...
I woke up at 02:11 - lay there thinking about my life. The last I remember was 04:44..... I thought about where I wanted to be a year from now. All being well I will be well again. Next summer. Maybe earlier. It seems such a long way away but as I have got older, the...
I am a 46-year-old English woman living in Wales. Born and bred in Blackpool, Lancashire – I still hold dear to my roots. I have been with my husband for 18 years and we got married in 2005. I have been blessed to have had such a strong relationship with him for the...
Here it comes - the 'Why me?' feeling. Great. Happy Saturday Heidi. I've had a sickly feeling throughout the night. Woke very early to much of the same. Ginger tea and toast, meds then back to sleep. It takes a few hours to get up. I'm crying now. Chubby tears make...
There is never a good time in anyone's life to get cancer. I'm only now just able to say the word out loud properly. It's such a soft, rounded, plump word, yet what it portrays is a vile, spiky, life-taking threat. I'm super sensitive to the word. The news is focusing...
The next morning........ Lifting my eye mask, ear plugs pulled out, I scan my body then my mind. Did I sleep well? I don't know. I can't remember but I know I feel OK. Both body and mind appear aligned to one another. Both feel well and I let out a sigh of relief. I'm...
It happened that quick. Netflix one second - fast sprint to the bathroom the next. 11/06/20 ~ 21:31 ~ "I officially declare the side effects open" NOW HERE FOLLOWS A HEALTH WARNING TO ALL OF YOU READING THIS BEFORE YOU CARRY ON READING THIS YOU PROMISE ME YOU WILL...
I was fine until I had to leave my husband at the door and walk in myself. It struck me how lonely I felt without him. He's been by my side since diagnosis and now he cannot be with me now. Covid. I'm welling up walking toward the chemo unit. It's so quiet. I try not...
I feel OK. I am awake. I drop my eye mask and give my sight a few minute to adjust, pull out my ear plugs (husband snores) and wait for the fear and anxiety to awaken too and come and say hello. They don't. Why are they ignoring me? Come on you pair of bastards,...