I want to share my story. I want to journal my journey, to not only give me a place to document what is happening to me and it’s affects, but I want others, similar to me, to read this and know they’re not alone. Like you…
Well that'll teach me. I've been announcing the good news like a Town Crier...'OYEZ....I am well....OYEZ......I am well'.... Buzzing off my accomplishment I'm like Tigger rather than Eyeore. Then a clump of hair comes out in my hand Not just a few strands like I am...
I am in a tall slim box, stood up. I can see out. It's made of steel bars and I'm gripping on to the contraption screaming for someone to let me out. Faceless tall figures drift around me but don't see me. They're just doing nothing except move around me - floating....
Something very odd is happening. I feel well. Too well?? I'm back to me. Up with the lark, darting around the place, scuttling from one job to another. Busy, busy, busy and loving it. A full sunny day lies ahead of me as I look out of my kitchen french doors onto...
We only did 2.5 miles, but I felt every stride and bounce on the floor. I felt like I was running on clouds, floating in between each step. Invigorating. I did not think I would be able to run again this year. Aside from my husband's company, I have my 'running'...
I am on form. I am close to who I was pre-diagnosis - I'm busy - working - marking assignments - ironing bedding - cleaning out the freezer. Living the life me! I woke up shining and my day remained bright. Today I am in charge and my anxiety has been given the day...
Today came and went - still feeling OK. It rained constantly today - the heavy thud of the drops could be heard all through the house. Quite comforting actually. I found a gap in it's incessant work, and got to go for a short walk with my daughter. The air felt light...
"Ladies and gentleman, we bring to you tonight - live in Heidi's crazy mind and NOT for one night only - put your hands together and give a warm welcome to the disease dip......" It's tune starts to play as I prepare dinner for my family. I feel my mind crack a little...
If one more person tells me 'I'll smash it', I will smash their f***ing face in. Cancer isn't a game. You don't get to take your turn on a playing field, score a rounder or a goal and go home full of admiration for your skill. Cancer is a disease. Not a battle. Why...
One of my dearest friends lost her sister to cancer two years ago today. She needs quiet and space today. I text her very briefly to let her know my love, empathy and compassion are at the edge of her stillness. I know she'll find today very hard. I have such a rush...