I head into the last weekend before chemo feeling a variety of feelings.
SADNESS – My body is going to get another kicking and I’m not going to feel myself for a while
ANGER – I can’t do anything to stop this. My treatment is a process and I have to work though each stage even when I don’t want to
OPTIMISM – I’m halfway through now – so I reflect on the time passage I’ve been on. It does feel like it has gone fast. it’s been 73 days since diagnosis – 63 days since chemotherapy invaded my physical structure and got to work.
APPREHENSION – How will I fair this time? Cycle#3 has been my best attempt so far – is it naive of me to think I’ve cracked it now and cycle#4 will bring me more of the same? Worse – was this just a flook? Will this next cycle run and find cycle#2 and join forces to ruin me? Now that is interesting – is that what they mean when they say chemo is accumulative – as more goes in the bigger the gang becomes and the more armed they are?
JOY – I’ve got to make the most of these three days before I get pumped back up again and can’t go out.
Talking of joy….. you may recall my lovely and very talented neighbour, who made me a quilt to cheer me up after I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was so pleased and touched with it – she offered to make me another one for my therapy room for when I return back to work. Well today after weeks of her time, energy and love it was finished and she brought it over. I absolutely love it. Look closely and you will see the name of my counselling practice, and all the words that I feel are synonymous to my work. She was delighted with her quilt and this is now hung up, pride of place in the ‘Positive Pod’ waiting for me to get better again. Thank you for this – I will always remember your kindness and care x