I am now sat in my garden drinking Palma Violet gin, and wearing one of those snuggle blanket dresses my youngest daughter gave to me as I headed into cancer land a few weeks ago. I’ve put my hood up because my head is cold. I have just seen my gorgeous cat walk across the fence as he makes his way home for the evening. He is so bloody handsome and he knows it! It is so still and silent now and the sky is a beautiful pattern of pinks, purples and blues. Slight, dainty clouds hang on to this late evening collage of pastels. I’m on my own and I am feeling at ease with this moment.
Residues of anger still stain my head space but no longer am I allowing them to take center stage. They’ve had their standing ovation. The audience have left so all that remains is an empty theatre and blank open space where the stage remains. I know it won’t go anywhere. Auditions will begin again and the leading role of anger will be cast to another actress . A new play will arrive soon.
But all that takes a bit of time, so I am determined now to take full advantage of this and be still. Relax in the moment and truly absorb what is around me. Fresh air and stillness. Find it where you can. I close my eyes and take a huge breath in and slowly release it back into the garden. It dances away as another one chases after it.
If you are going through any kind of treatment as rancid and as scary as chemo take these words….
YOU’RE DOING AN AMAZING JOB
YOU ARE AN AWESOME HUMAN BEING
Cure
Help
Empower
Me to
Overcome…………………fucking cancer!