I have already shared with you the importance of being with positive people and people who you can rely on and trust. This will be the biggest asset you can have when you have treatment for cancer. I was warned at the beginning of all of this by someone who was well ahead on this journey – that you will be surprised at who has stayed with you when you reach the end, and when you do reach the end who hasn’t. This came very true for me, quite early on. I soon discovered who my allies were and weren’t. Not many surprises with the ‘weren’t’. I have put in stronger boundaries since May and this has brought with it a sense of liberation and autonomy. Some people have tried to push through these to no avail. Why do people think it is OK to ignore you or not speak to you for months and months and even years, then think it is OK to drop back in to your life like nothing has happened because you have cancer and they feel guilty? There will be a very good reason we have not had any communication in this time – might be down to you – or down to me. But there has been a long absence, and I am guessing without the cancer there still would be. So I know this is not about me – they are driven by their own stuff here, how they feel, and are looking to soothe those feelings that may be sitting uncomfortably within themselves.
You may think I sound harsh and unforgiving. I am not. I am just not going to put up with being treated badly, and with no respect.
Cancer has changed me and hardened me up and realigned my personal values and morals. I am enjoying finding these stronger elements of my core self. I am enjoying getting to that feeling of no f***’s given! You should join me!!
But this post is being written because of a very kind and thoughtful lady who has brought her time and her compassion to my plight. Ever since she heard about my breast cancer she has text me every single Friday without fail. This has sealed our friendship and her experience as a nurse and her experience with her husbands own cancer has helped me without question. What started off as a work colleague, has now ended up with a firm friendship in my life.
So, I am sitting at my desk feeling a bit rough, when a DPD chap rattles the door and my daughter answers it. She groans under the heaviness of the package and brings it in to me. I can smell it before I can see it! I knew it was arriving but had no idea what was going to be sent to me. It is like Christmas as I delved into the gorgeous smelling gift which was packed full of treats, creams, candles, lotions, bath salts, pillow sprays, chocolate and fluffy socks. The bag with my name on set off my tears. I feel so grateful right now. This wonderful and thoughtful lady has spent some of her time creating this package for me. Wow. Have a look for yourself…..
It’s at moments like these when you feel cared for and in this case spoilt, where there are no words that can be expressed to say thank you. But Ally, I hope you know that I am so so grateful for your companionship and encouragement.