My husband has done Ironman a few times – yes I know – who would put themselves through 12 hours + of physical and mental torture and actually pay for the pleasure? The last picture on the right is the morning after the day before. We had only had Boo a week and he sat with my husband all morning whilst he slept off the exercise hangover!
The day before the event he eats so much – pasta, carbs, protein…. He prepares his body for the grueling famine that ensues. And tonight I do the same. Except my menu is for both preparation and pleasure. I woke up wanting scampi and chips for dinner. Our kitchen is getting refurbished, new tiles etc so we are up to our armpits in dust and chaos – but I can make this!
I work late but I do make it happen and it is just as tasty as I imagined it this morning. My neighbour (back of us) popped by with a bag of fruit too which was so kind. “We want to look after our girl” he tells me and I feel happy and sad at the same time. Mainly because at times like these, I miss having a Dad around. I genuinely don’t know what it is like to have a Dad – but if I did I would have taken my neighbour any day of the week.
We drink wine – eat ice cream sundaes (with gifted fruit), my sister-in-law video calls me, I text back my wonderful best English to Welsh friend who has been truly fantastic to me and my family, then tuck into lime Dorito’s and write down my feelings. If you were to look at me now you would never know I would be preparing for chemo in the morning. (OK – the baldy head may have given it away!!)
I feel good and I look OK. I’ve done my nails ready for tomorrow. I try and make the best of what I have got. I’m no natural beauty and I don’t possess ‘prettiness’ in any form. But I am real and raw and work with what I have. I hope that comes across.
I hope it does to you.
So – if like me it is your chemo-eve remember this……
- You are f***ing awesome
- It’s another cycle closer to the end of treatment
- You are stronger than you know and your chemo knows that
- Smile, breathe, bring it in and feel it work
- You are taking on the biggest challenge of your life and you are AMAZING
These quotes are taken from a number of messages sent to me by my once colleague but now most wonderful friend who has kicked cancer’s arse and is my constant companion…. thank you J x x x x