I didn’t write yesterday. It was my last weekend before chemo#2 and I had so much to do. So, I put my busy (bald) head on and got to it. I won’t bore you with my weekend activities but I am at my best when I am productive. I owned my day. I maximized my time well. You’d have been proud of me. There is a huge difference between being busy and being productive. You can be busy all day and still feel like you’re behind on accomplishing your aims. I feel the difference between both and today I am strong and savvy.
I’m getting used to my hair now and it feels fabulous. I’m not at all confident at fitting it properly and do fiddle with it. I’m waiting for my hairdresser to get back to me to teach me what to do.
I went shopping with my husband and had to stop myself from pulling it an inch this way and that. How NOT to wear a wig in public! So tonight as my weekend draws to a close I’m less than 72 hours away from being pumped back full of poison. I least I know a little more of what to expect this time…….
I spoke with my Oncologist on Thursday – forgot to mention that last time. He said I should react similar with each cycle. Can you recall me telling you about my chemo crash on the first Monday? I felt so awful. I said it was the injections and their side effects. Turned out it wasn’t. It was my chemo. I picked up from the Tuesday but that day wasn’t great at all. So now the plan is to continue on the steroids for a further three days to try and avoid this crash next time round. A lower dose but I am told it will help me over those days and keep me as well as possible.
Chemo is bloody hard. It’s a big tough cure for a big bad disease. Cancer does not have a face until it’s yours. Then loosing your hair to chemo changes your features again. Our baldy heads are our sign of strength and resilience. I may have more hair on my face than the rest of my body right now, but I am growing a pride in what I look like. I hope you are too.
“Why does chemo always have side effects like sickness and hair loss? Why not ‘invisibility’ and ‘spontaneous orgasms’?
Lawrence Wray