I am a 46-year-old English woman living in Wales. Born and bred in Blackpool, Lancashire – I still hold dear to my roots. I have been with my husband for 18 years and we got married in 2005. I have been blessed to have had such a strong relationship with him for the majority of the time. We are so different yet so similar. He holds the torch but I tell us where to go. And he lets me. We have three teenagers, all different, but all brilliant. Two girls either side of a boy. They don’t always like one another – the usual stuff. But all gorgeous inside and out. All loved, admired and encouraged.
I have a beautiful grey and white cat whom I adore. He really is very special to me. I come with another title too – ‘crazy rabbit lady’. I have two free range fluffy lawnmowers in my garden. Our family dog has been with us 10 years now. We are on our second hamster.
I drink wine, diet coke and tea. I run, love cleaning the house and going shopping. I want to learn and grow. My eye sight is going but I manage! I look after my hair, my nails but never had a skin routine I stick to. I’m loud but warm. I can’t sing, or am I in any way creative. I have little common sense and relatively intelligent. Hate maths but love english. I am smart, brave and assertive but need reminding. I like to feel wanted, respected and needed. Pretty much all I do aims to fulfil these needs.
I have a very small family – a sister and a niece. Younger than me, she got the waistline and I got the hair! My husband’s parents act like my own. I have no relationship with my mum or my dad. I haven’t seen one for over 30 years, and the other for over 10 years.
I have spent a lot of my life undoing the damage their incompetence’s did. I am proud of what I have managed to salvage from their negligence and impact.
I have experienced trauma, abuse, domestic violence and the bits in between. I have weathered many personal storms and have been celebrating my growth as not only a mother, a wife, a friend but also as a counsellor for a few years now. It seems now, cancer is my next personal adventure to navigate my way through.
I have been working as a counsellor since 2001. It found me, and I am so grateful for this. I am one of those rare people who actually love what they do. Early on in my career, it became very clear that I had a natural gift of working alongside adolescents. I have a Masters degree in working with children and young people, as well as a whole host of other experience and qualifications in a variety of techniques and theories. I have worked in organisations, schools, now a college and have a successful private practice. I also am lucky enough to have supported many many adults during the last two decades. I enjoy the versatility to adopt to be able to work with a variety of client’s ages and stages.
The passion for my work took me into teaching those with a drive to grow as individuals. I now hear the calling others feel and I do a very good job at encouraging my trainee counsellors to tune into their potential. There is an amazing feeling, seeing the enthusiasm and awe in someone and to help them foster and develop their capacity. I am very aware I am helping bring others into the profession that have some qualities and sparkle I don’t possess. But I respect that and I use it to my advantage! It’s what keeps me on my toes, keeps me learning and keeps me wanting to be better than I am today.
I have a strong innate drive to help others and assist with their daily challenges. I am empathic, genuine and honest. I accept others for who they are and do my best to be present in their pain and share their burden. To have had a few hours in the company of another person’s personal experience is a true honour. To see another human being walk away from me, lighter, freer, healing from pain, disorders or obstacles, is truly the most remarkable and rewarding feeling. To know you have had even the smallest awareness and input into the space of another human being who is hurting deeply, alters and moulds you.
Believe me when I say I am where I am now after years of pinching and borrowing from colleagues, clients and friends. I really am a collage of my past, my husbands’ consistent love, patience and support, my children’s unlimited unconditional positive regard and uniqueness, my friend’s influence and kindness, and exposure to my client’s deep pain, fear and anxiety. And as I stand here with you now – know I am coming from a place of congruence and compassion. I am well qualified!!
I am a different counsellor now. I am a counsellor with cancer. I am determined and focused on making this next chapter in my life bring something valuable to me. This will not silence me. Or you. Lean on me when you feel its hand over your mouth and you are spluttering for breath. And I will lean on you.
Already I have tasted fear, anxiety, total loss, blind panic and anger. I have also felt relief, optimism and found a new part within me that needs a voice. The uncertainty lies ahead – I feel it with every move I make and every inhale and exhale. I hate the fact I cannot see the ending to my story. I can’t skip to the back page.
But what I can do is control what I can – when I can. I want to help you do the same.
My husband will be the first to tell you I have too much to say for myself. He ain’t seen nothing yet!