I am not sure I am all that good at meditating. I want to be and I do get something out of it that helps me. It has solid benefits but today when I sit – I drift – over and over again. Not going anywhere. I have the words but no feelings. I do find I feel...
Today I ran for the first time since diagnosis. I ran my fastest miles. With every step I bounce down I imagine a cell being crushed. I have energy this morning and my music reminds me I am alive. I am still me but a different me. Sounds weird but as one jogging step...
In my desperate search for answers I am back on the internet and pretty much spend the next 2 days there. I look for blogs – I want to read similar stories to my own. I want to talk about how I am feeling. I am aware of this constant noise in my head – I...
We have been awake since 2.30am. My husband got up and went in the lounge. I drifted in and out of sleep until he came back to bed about 6.30am. He is crying. Sobbing and we hold each other. The air in our space has evaporated leaving fear and terror in its place. I...
On May 26th 2020 at approximately 10:54 am my life changed forever. A man who had known me less than an hour in total told me he ‘was right to be suspicious’ about a ‘mass’ he had found in my breast 9 days earlier. He had already drained my...
