May 31, 2020 | Uncategorized
My daughter has a hamster. When he first wakes, you see him sniff the air – his tiny black eyes blink at his discoveries. I feel like him today – just now. I sniff in the morning air and scan my body. Am I still feeling healthy and happy? The pain of...
May 31, 2020 | Uncategorized
I have woken up with a cough – tickley – back of the throat needing clearing thing. I have had this before – comes then goes. Has it gone to my lungs? Didn’t sleep well either. In between dozy drop-offs I recite my mantra, ‘I am healthy...
May 31, 2020 | Uncategorized
I am not sure I am all that good at meditating. I want to be and I do get something out of it that helps me. It has solid benefits but today when I sit – I drift – over and over again. Not going anywhere. I have the words but no feelings. I do find I feel...
May 30, 2020 | Uncategorized
Today I ran for the first time since diagnosis. I ran my fastest miles. With every step I bounce down I imagine a cell being crushed. I have energy this morning and my music reminds me I am alive. I am still me but a different me. Sounds weird but as one jogging step...
May 29, 2020 | Uncategorized
In my desperate search for answers I am back on the internet and pretty much spend the next 2 days there. I look for blogs – I want to read similar stories to my own. I want to talk about how I am feeling. I am aware of this constant noise in my head – I...
